Generation Y (were you even born?)

You are a disappointment. It is embarrassing to be the generation right before you. I am glad you are not one of my kids. If you were I would have raised you a whole lot better than your parents, who obviously did a shitty job of it.

Was it drugs? Maybe you turned out so whiney because your mum’s womb was all full of the trendy anti-depressants when you were getting born. Maybe it was the stimulants your parents drugged you to the teeth with since you were a toddler for your hyper active ass burger syndrome and it made you retarded. There wasn’t even such thing as ass burger until you were born. And then what is it then with all the autism you have. Maybe your vaccinations caused the autism. That would explain why you are so dumb. You don’t know what a teeter totter is. You never played on one because they had to all be removed for you so you wouldn’t hurt yourselves. You’re the first kids with meth too so maybe it was the meth made you mental. You can’t even eat a god damn peanut butter sandwich or you might die. What kind of bullshit allergy is that?

Your goofy headphones in public is a Down’s Syndrome thing. They have been wearing headphones since walkmans were invented and now you are out and about with headphones. Yours cost more and sound like shit though. Plus they’re way too big and look even stupider. You got no social skills weakling unless you are virtue gloating on your creepy, fake social media.

Snooty. Spoiled. You are the first generation that was not disciplined. You show that the bible encourages corporal punishment for good reason.

Sucky babies. Snivelling whiners, always blubbering about how hard done by you are. Almost 30 years old and hardly any of you work even though there are way more jobs for you than there were for Gen X. But you are entitled to better jobs aren’t you because you are special.

Lazy losers. Safe spaced narcissists, ignorant, butt hurt, arrogant even though you have no achievements. Nobody on your age level is any good to look up to. You even made terrible music so you can’t identify with anything. Except for the boys who seem to identify with wearing tacky girly clothes, like those skinny pants that are hiked up to show your bare ankles and you still got the man bun going on. I hear you have new sexes now so I guess I shouldn’t say boys. That’s real charming. Too bad your butt ugly shoes are the worst. I mean. Really. 

You are not even hot anymore. You are kind of old and you are very fat – in fact, the most shamefully obese generation in history, bankrupting medicare with your diabetes and heart disease. What a waste of tax dollars. You are gross. Everybody wishes you were never even born.


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